The importance of pleasure, particularly in the context of women's sexuality, cannot be understated, especially considering the historically dismissive or controlling attitudes towards it. It's surprising to see how often it is devalued in the media. What's even more disappointing is that a lot of this negativity comes from women themselves. Instead of supporting and understanding the many ways women find empowerment and pleasure, some articles treat them with surprising dismissiveness.
One topic that has been a subject of this dismissiveness is that of yoni massage, also referred to as tantric massage, pelvic massage, or simply what it is: vaginal massage. It's tough to see women adding to the noise that questions or limits other women's choices, especially on such personal topics.
I think the following issues deserve consideration:
Fundamental Right to Pleasure: Pleasure is a fundamental human experience. Just as we seek out foods that taste good, music that sounds delightful, or activities that make us happy, sexual pleasure is an integral part of the human experience. Every individual, regardless of gender, has the right to seek and enjoy pleasure in ways that feel right and safe for them.
Historical Suppression of Female Pleasure: Historically, female pleasure has been suppressed, misunderstood, or even vilified in many cultures. The dismissive attitudes toward yoni massage can be seen as an extension of this suppression. Women reclaiming and prioritizing their pleasure is an act of self-affirmation and empowerment. The assertion that pleasure can be derived only within certain 'accepted' parameters (like with a partner) is restrictive. Such norms have historically limited women's agency over their bodies. Choosing to seek pleasure outside these traditional confines, such as through yoni massage, can be a way of challenging and redefining these societal norms.
Therapeutic Value of Pleasure: Pleasure isn't just about immediate gratification. Experiencing pleasure releases endorphins, the body's natural painkillers, and can reduce stress, anxiety, and depression. While yoni massage may provide direct sensual pleasure, the relaxation and mental well-being that follow are therapeutic.
Intimacy with Oneself: Yoni massage, conducted by a professional, offers a space where women can focus purely on their pleasure without the pressures or expectations of reciprocation. This can allow for a deeper intimacy with oneself, understanding one's body better, and cultivating a strong sense of bodily autonomy.
Desire and pleasure for their own sake
The concept of enjoyment or desire, especially when it pertains to personal experiences and choices, is deeply rooted in autonomy. The desire for enjoyment, without an apparent "need," is a valid justification in itself.
Consider these aspects:
The Limitations of the "Need" Argument: Often, societal constructs dictate what is deemed a "need" versus a "want" or "desire." These constructs, especially those related to women's bodies and sexuality, have historically been restrictive. By asserting that desire alone is a valid justification, we challenge these long-standing societal norms. If all human actions were only based on need, many joys of life would become redundant. Art, music, gourmet food, and myriad other pleasures exist primarily because of desire, not necessity. Yoni massage, or any other form of personal enjoyment, can similarly be pursued for the sheer pleasure of the experience, rather than a defined "need."
Autonomy of Desire: Every individual possesses the inherent right to pursue what brings them joy, comfort, or pleasure, as long as it doesn't harm others. This principle is foundational to personal autonomy and individual rights. Justifying one's choices based on an external or socially accepted "need" undermines this autonomy. Desire is a primary human emotion, just like happiness, sadness, or anger. It drives a vast range of human behaviors, from the food we eat to the hobbies we pursue. There's no reason why desire, especially regarding one's body and experiences, should be placed under a microscope of justification.
The Validity of Subjective Experience: Every individual's experiences, desires, and needs are subjective. What might be a mere desire for one could be a need for another. Hence, imposing a universal metric of what needs justification can be reductive and invalidating. Pursuing something out of sheer desire can open up new horizons of understanding, experiences, and self-awareness. Whether it's traveling to a new place, trying a new hobby, or exploring yoni massage, these experiences driven purely by pleasure can be deeply transformative.
The pursuit of pleasure for its own sake is not just valid but fundamental to the human experience. The need to justify personal choices based on an externally defined "need" can be limiting and even oppressive. Embracing desire as a valid reason in itself is a step towards greater autonomy and self-acceptance.
Why not just do it yourself?
The insistence that masturbation (or sex with a partner) serves the same purpose misses several important points:
Physical vs. Psychological Stimulation: Focusing primarily on the physical aspects of sexual pleasure doesn't encompass the entire spectrum of human sexuality. While self-stimulation or stimulation from a partner might offer physical pleasure, yoni massages often intertwine the physical with the psychological and emotional realms. The hands of a trained practitioner can help women navigate past traumas, body image issues, or even deeply ingrained societal stigmas attached to female sexuality.
Expertise Matters: The skills and knowledge of a professional are often sought because they offer expertise that the untrained person simply doesn't have. Similarly, a trained yoni massage practitioner is equipped with techniques and knowledge to safely and respectfully provide an experience that many may not be able to replicate.
Sexual Diversity: Sexuality is a spectrum that differs widely among individuals. While many women might not achieve orgasm from intercourse alone, it's an oversimplification to assume that yoni massages are sought purely out of sexual dissatisfaction. Many women, regardless of their sexual satisfaction levels, might be drawn to the practice out of curiosity, the desire for a unique experience, or even for therapeutic reasons beyond the sexual domain.
Holistic Approaches to Sexual Health: Modern medicine often promotes a holistic approach to health, considering both mental and physical well-being. For some, yoni massage, can be a holistic practice, providing not just physical but also emotional and psychological benefits. It's worth considering how practices like these can be integrated or acknowledged in the broader medical discourse on sexual health.
There's no need to justify your enjoyment
Yoni massage, like any other form of massage or therapeutic touch, can be valued for its tangible, physiological benefits without delving into any spiritual or new-age justification. The practice can stand on its own merit as a tool for relaxation, physical well-being, and emotional connection.
Physical Benefits: At its core, yoni massage can be viewed as a type of therapeutic massage. Like any other massage, it focuses on muscle relaxation, increased blood flow, and physical rejuvenation. The genital area, like other parts of the body, can benefit from these physical aspects of massage, especially given the sensitivity and concentration of nerve endings.
Emotional Release: Any kind of massage, not just yoni massage, can lead to emotional release. Touch is a powerful human experience. It can lead to feelings of connection, relaxation, and can sometimes even bring forward suppressed emotions. This is true for a neck massage, a back massage, or a yoni massage. There's no need to invoke spiritual rhetoric; the body's physiological response to touch is a well-documented phenomenon.
Empowerment and Autonomy: Choosing to receive a yoni massage can be a statement of empowerment and autonomy over one's body. This decision doesn't need to be justified by spiritual beliefs but can be rooted in personal agency and the desire for a unique therapeutic experience.
A Form of Self-Care: Many self-care practices, from facials to foot massages, are embraced for their relaxation and rejuvenation benefits. Yoni massage can be viewed in the same light—a practice of self-care and personal pampering without any attached spiritual connotations.
The climactic conclusion
Pleasure is not just an indulgence but an essential part of human well-being. Women have the right to seek and enjoy pleasure on their own terms. Dismissing or diminishing this pursuit ignores the multifaceted value and importance of pleasure in human life.
Like other services we pay for, whether it's a relaxing spa day, a trip to the movies, or a gourmet meal, they are all essentially about deriving pleasure. Why should yoni massage, which offers tactile pleasure and relaxation, be seen any differently?
The bottom line is this: Orgasms make life better. A skillful pussy massage feels amazing, and pleasure alone is a valid reason to enjoy it.